Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Why I Am An Atheist #21: Barbara

Boston Atheists member Barbara writes:

Several years ago, I started on a quest for god, I questioned everything around me, and I was a believer at the time, but evidently not, I started to read everything and listen to everything I could on religion. I wanted god in my life but couldn't find him; I visited many churches, synagogues, never got to a Muslim temple though. The role of women in that religion immediately turned me off. I thought about changing religions, maybe that was it, not the right way to pray or to be religious in the right way, maybe that was my problem in my quest to find god.

I found that if one steps back and really understands what is going on within religion it makes it very clear that religion is made by man for men, for control over other men and especially women.

Women were not considered important enough to be at the top of the pile, we didn't have the right stuff, testicles and a penis. We had one thing going against us and one thing for us and that was a womb. That was our great asset but also our great detriment. Besides all the guys wanted the power and control for themselves, even as it is today, they did not want to share in this big world I call the sandbox. Men do not want to share in the sandbox. They would rather kick sand in your face and keep all the toys for themselves, usually it's sexual, the most powerful urge in their lives. They will do anything for orgasm, kill children, perversions., etc. We see it every day. Not too many whorehouses around for women. Most children who have been killed for sexual release are killed by men. Men will even fly to foreign countries for forbidden sexual pleasure they cannot get legally in this country, for instance the sexual abuse of young children or boys.

Every religion was created by man for men. Some of the ancient religions had goddesses, but not too many, and that died out with time, Catholicism honors Mary for being the mother of god. Not for anything she did on her own but merely for being a vessel for the life of the supposed son of god. Generally women were left out altogether and only given a passing glance, there are a few in the bible, but not too many, all the ‘begats’ are of male names. Women have not and still are not important to the male world except in a sexual way. Funny they couldn't do all that begetting without us, but the women are not mentioned. Fuck them. Even our swear words give homage to the male ego.

In the Christian religions we are childbearing handmaidens. Now having children is not a small task, but being the handmaiden for the men who run the church/temple, synagogue is another thing altogether. This seems to be the attitude religious men have toward women. Many religions hide the women in the house because this is the temple for male orgasm. Not to be trusted on her own, for she will betray the man. The Arab mind states it like this, they feel when a man and woman are alone in a room, non-related, that the sex act is already committed even if nothing happened. Because they feel that the couple knows they should not be there in the first place, so the actual act of sex is moot. They are punished as if they actually did something.

Women are nothing more important than a womb, a vessel for man's sperm. To be kept pure for their sperm, once that barrier is broken we are no longer that pedestal person. This realization, this epiphany came like a train wreck to me as a young woman, that this is how men see us on an unconscious level. No matter what the situation is, it is sex which drives the male emotions and ego, and once a woman loses that sexual attraction, men see you as nothing useful: as something expendable.

The understanding that women had been slaves to the male ego for all of time, slave to the male testosterone for all of history came as the most shock.
Women have not started one war, yet our children were sent to slaughter for male ego in charge. The majority of deaths by violence in the world today are all male genesis, and the one thing that truly shocked me was that man, that men are controlled by their hormones much more than they realize, all of this war and bombs and killing is male testosterone in control, testosterone controls everything they do and they don't even know it. We even today spend billions to protect ourselves from other male testosterone. Want to see testosterone in action? Look at any military in the world.

Bombs are just bigger rocks, guns bigger sticks. Better ways to kill. To control land for land will attract females and what are females, if not sex. Ancient built in attitudes. This controls our society even today.

So you can see how my thinking went and why I am an atheist today. Today’s religions are run by men for men and there is no place at that table for me.


A woman.


This post is part of a series, in which members of the Boston secular community explain how they came to the decision to identify as atheists. To read more posts in the series, click here. To submit your own story, email bostonatheists@gmail.com.